My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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