I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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