The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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