I wannas sexs uuuuu
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
