the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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