I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
