he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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