I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
