okay pat passed out under dana's car
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
