his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize