Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
