what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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