1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Still dying that you shit outside
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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