she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize