I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
