I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
