I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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