yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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