There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize