had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
