pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
