He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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