I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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