WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
