And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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