It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
