maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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