But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
