is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
