Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
