Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
operation have a gay friend backfired
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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