The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize