1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
