were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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