I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
