And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
