someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize