I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
