So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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