I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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