At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
