Duck Duck Cougar?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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