We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
