Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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