I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
