just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
