So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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