Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
