Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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