SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
