Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
