I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
