its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
How external is "for external use only"?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
