just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
