We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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