great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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