Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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