iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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