Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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