you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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