Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
