Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
