dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
