Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
