That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
