I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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